They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
