She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
