Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
