I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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