when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
