Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I deserve this hangover.
I smell like Dick and happiness
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
