Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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