drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
