dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
