What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
