Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And then he peed in my hair
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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