Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
