he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
