im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
