She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
