You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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