my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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