my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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