Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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