i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
