He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
