you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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