But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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