maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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