I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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