I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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