I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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