did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
