OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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