I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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