I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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