Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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