Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
