idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
