SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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