why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
