Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
