I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
