i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
