she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
