Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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