And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
