i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
