I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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