dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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