I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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