I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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