There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
