left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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