We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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