Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize