Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Barsexuality is the new black.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
