i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
