She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You pole danced in your parka.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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