i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
