I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
