okay pat passed out under dana's car
there's paper in my vomit.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
