I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
