I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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