Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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