walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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