You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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